Hey Look! It's Marco Traniello!

Moderately funny story from San Remo that I forgot about until just now:

Covering the EPT presented a new challenge for me. Each of the regional poker tours has its own following of players. I've covered a bunch of APPTs; I know that circuit well now. The LAPT is still in its relative infancy and had small, easily manageable fields. Even though I only covered one LAPT, it went off without a hitch.

The EPT, on the other hand, was around for almost five full seasons before I showed up in San Remo. That tournament drew a field of 1,178 players, many of them EPT regulars that I wouldn't have been able to pick out of a police line-up. It was frustrating to look at a tournament room jammed to the rafters full of poker players, to know that many of them were "names" to cover, and not to know which ones they were.

After Day 1B, the PokerNews crew found ourselves on the street outside the casino, walking behind Marco Traniello. Someone commented on Traniello's appearance, and that's when we realized that, despite having already played both Day 1s that were scheduled for the event, nobody noticed that Traniello was in the field. I was so busy trying to figure out who all of the Euros were that I had overlooked someone I should have easily recognized.

The next day, I grabbed a hand from Traniello's table early in the day and wrote the following post on the PokerNews Live Reporting blog:

Hey Look! It's Marco Traniello!

Ok. We're in a country full of Italians. And we're not Italian. Not a one of us. So you can forgive us if, in a country full of Italians, we miss an Italian or two. It's like that old joke -- they all look the same to us. That's not really true, of course, but we have no other excuse for why we didn't notice Marco Traniello in the field yesterday.

Suffice it to say that, "Hey look! It's Marco Traniello!" is a new running gag for the PokerNews crew.

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Leftovers from San Remo

A few odds and ends before I pack up my gear and train off to Bologna:

* The media pass I was issued by Casino San Remo suggests that I work for "pekernews.com". Yes, I snickered too. It's a perfect excuse for another gratuitous link to my favorite article ever from The Onion (and one that I've linked to before).

* Over the course of my travels during the last year I've found that a reliable indicator of the quality of a hotel is whether an iron is included in the room or has to be requested from the front desk. Iron in the room? Hotel might be ok. Iron not in the room? Expect the worst. The hotel in San Remo did not come with an iron in the room. Not only did it not come with an iron in the room, but the maid never replaced the bath gel. I even tried throwing the empty bottle on the floor so that she'd have to replace it. Her solution was to pick up the bottle and set it on the sink.

* I tend not to worry about things that I can't control. I've always felt that worrying about things out of my control and worrying about things that *might* happen was a waste of time and energy. It's more productive to worry about things that I *can* control and to wait and see what happens with the things that are out of my control. There's a metaphor for poker in there somewhere if you look hard enough.

* When you're taking trains in Italy it's exceedingly difficult NOT to make geeky, cliched jokes about whether or not the trains run on time. (Stop sighing, Ugarles.)

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The Man in the Mirror

There are lots of perqs to the job of tournament reporter. Although the days can be long and the salary is less-than-stellar, tournament reporters get to do a fair amount of writing (creativity encouraged), a fair amount of traveling (elite status all the way), and a fair amount of pokering (watching or playing). Once in a while we are even rewarded with extremely short days. The APT Manila final table was done in less than three hours; Day 3 of San Remo was a five-hour affair and Day 4 today should be the same.

There are times, however, when the job has its frustrations. And to be perfectly honest, this particular job -- tournament reporter -- is not a career. It is an excellent way to supplement one's income as a writer and earn a few pennies while seeing the world. But that's where it starts and ends.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate being able to spend three hours consuming an outdoor meal of the freshest pasta and beef along with copious amounts of wine on the banks of the Mediterranean at a small family-owned restaurant. I love the US$0.75 bottles of beer in Manila dive bars and causing international incidents at Sydney nightclubs. Most of all, even though there are many who might label me a misanthrope, I love interacting with the local people.

But... a person like me will never be satisfied just doing this. Nor should I be, I think. I'm continuing to try to develop freelance writing opportunities and I'm also considering this other asset that I have that I've been ignoring for the last year. Now that I have sufficient distance from the feeling of "Get me out of here!" that pervaded my life as a lawyer, I realize that just because I didn't have any passion for what I was doing before I left New York City doesn't mean I should abandon that asset entirely.

I've been doing lots of thinking the past few days. A quiet, mountain-top retreat, short days and the death at too-young an age of a really great guy (Justin Shronk) have been conducive to thought. I haven't had many profound thoughts or made any major decisions, but I did come to one realization: life is often irritatingly complex. Things are so much easier during those brief patches of time when life is simple.

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Whither the Shenanigans?

I promised shenanigans, as long as they weren't personally damning. It turns out there haven't been too many shenanigans yet. Since the opening party on Friday night we've kept a fairly low profile. That is partially because the overflow hotel in which many of the qualifiers (and all of the PokerNews crew) is staying is located a half-hour by bus from the casino. Add in waiting time for the bus -- this is Italy, after all -- and it takes about an hour to get back to the hotel. That puts a damper on going out. Yesterday I chose to go back to the hotel when I saw a bus that required no waiting, and missed out on fun drinking times with everyone's favorite cheery Asian-American, Bill Chen. Oh well!

We should have some short days now. There are still three full days left in this tournament and only 124 players remain to start the day. Plenty of time to go out and do something completely irresponsible.

In the meantime I've spent a fair amount of time pondering my life. I've got some ideas about that but not enough time to really dig into them right now. Cards are supposed to be in the air in ten minutes.

By the way, I've found the Italian version of Iggy loitering around the casino. I've shouted "BONUS CODE IGGY!" at him a couple of times but all he does is blink at me. Silly Italians.

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San Remo Postcard

Greetings from San Remo. The weather has been rainy but the scenery is beautiful and the food can't be beat. Now if we could just do something about all the cigarette smoke...

The PokerNews crew is staying at a resort on top of a mountain. Literally. The narrow, winding road that climbs the mountain is not made for tour buses, but that's the way we've been ascending and descending every day. "Nerve-wracking" is an apt description for the trip. "Harrowing" might also suffice.

Of our crew of six people, two people had their luggage lost by the airline. One guy still hasn't gotten one of his bags. All Delta has been able to tell him is that it was on the first flight he took. Other than that they have no idea where it is. Object lesson in why I never check bags, no matter how long my trip is. Hotel laundry is far preferable to a lost bag.

We haven't gotten up to too many shenanigans, partially because the hotel is a minimum 30 minutes by bus and -- this being Italy -- a few times we've had to wait for the bus for upwards of 45 minutes. That's fine with me. There will be plenty of shenanigans in Bologna and Monte Carlo.

Last night the crew was back at the hotel around 2am for a quiet night of drinking and hanging out together in the room. We got some sad news around 4am that caused an enjoyable night to end on a more somber note. Sometimes that's the way life goes.

In other news, PokerNews launched its Australasia magazine today. Yours truly wrote a couple of pieces for the inaugural issue, which you can find in various locations in Australia.

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On the Plane Again

It's been a shocking two-and-a-half months since the last time I was on an airplane. That all changes tomorrow when I jet off to San Remo / Bologna / Monte Carlo for 18 days. I'll be covering the EPT San Remo stop, taking a holiday in Bologna to visit a paesano and then finishing up with the EPT Monte Carlo Grand Final. All of the action, as always, can be found at PokerNews under the Live Reporting tab.

All of the misadventures will be reported here. The misadventures that are not too personally damning will be reported here. I already predict the first one will involve my 49-minute international connection at JFK Airport tomorrow afternoon (not booked by me, thanks). I could probably write a book on all of the travel mishaps and frustrations I've experienced in the last year. The only problem is that nobody would read it -- not that this little detail ever stopped some people from writing books.

Yesterday's $340 LHE event at Caesar's didn't go well. Despite drawing an excellent starting table, I was unable to ever make more than a single pair in almost four hours of play. Meanwhile the old man on my left (who made a few lecherous old-man-style comments about some of the pretty girls in the room -- another thing to look forward to as I continue the transition to grumpy old man) was catching every conceivable turn, river or turn-and-river runners. Sometimes that's the way it goes in limit hold'em.

See you in the Old Country.

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Cranky Man Returns

Once upon a time I wrote a post about Harrahs charging $50 juice for a $100 tournament in AC. (If I wasn't writing this post from my phone i'd find the link.) Things seemed to have improved since then, but not by much. I just paid $40 in juice for a $300 LHE tournament.

Is that the going rate these days? I play tournaments so infrequently that I have no idea if that's normal or if that's Harrahs. You can say "But they gave you a $10 food comp." Which is true. But really the comp just means that my two-pizza-slice-and-soda lunch cost what it's supposed to cost -- about $6-$7 -- instead of being exorbitantly overpriced at $16.16. I don't consider that any form of savings.

The funny thing is that, despite looking forward to this tournament for weeks, I almost forgot about it. What saved me was a noon phone call from a friend who wanted to play the $550 NLHE today. "Didnt you want to play the $340?" she asked me. Oh right! The $340. With everything else going on lately -- not the least of which was neighborhood kids chucking rocks at my house and breaking a front window -- it had slipped my mind.

Complaining about how prices are too high. Chasing kids out of the yard. Forgetting things. When the hell did I become a grumpy old man?

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Onwards, Poker Soldier

Welcome back. Did you miss me?

This space was neglected for the last week or so. Although some of you may think my whole life is a vacation (did I mention I'm going to San Remo and Monte Carlo for 18 days starting on Thursday?), I needed a vacation. Easy enough to hop in the car and drive down to LA. It was a week of golf, poker, beach and friends. I didn't completely neglect my responsibilities -- give me an internet connection and most of my work can be accomplished from anywhere -- but I was definitely in relaxation mode.

It's nice to completely unplug sometimes. For the millennial new year, I went with three friends to Culebra, a small island near Puerto Rico. We rented a tiny apartment on a secluded beach. Typical daily activities were: sleep til whenever; have breakfast; walk fifty feet to the beach; sleep til whenever; go for a swim; have lunch; sleep til whenever; go scuba diving; go into town for dinner and drinks. I didn't look at a newspaper, a computer, a television, a radio or even a watch for pretty much the whole week. It was total relaxation, a feeling I've never been able to duplicate since.

I could tell you some stories from LA but that negates the relaxing aspect of the week. I think I'll just store them up and remain forward-looking. Now it's back to work. There are several projects that require my attention before I leave for San Remo, and then of course there are two EPT tournaments that have to be covered. Let's not forget the WSOP looming just over the horizon...

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Scoooooooop Ruminations

Some random thoughts while waiting for SCOOP #12-High, Seven-Card Stud Hi/Lo to make the final table:

* Split-pot games are just about the slowest poker tournaments to cover.

* Unlimited rebuy tournaments are the slowest.

* I was recently reflecting on the flexibility of my current lifestyle. It's fantastic. Yet I know I need to challenge myself more and not be content to rest at this point. There are plenty of opportunities out there and endeavors to pursue. I need to get on them, even if it means giving up some of the flexibility.

* For now, however, the flexibility rocks. Case-in-point: I'm writing this post from Los Angeles. Why? Because I felt like going to Los Angeles.

* Are there any executive golf courses in Vegas? That's another thing for me to look into when I get back. I played Penmar the other day and was reminded how pleasant a simple nine holes of golf can be.

* I don't miss LA traffic. In the least.

* I do miss cool ocean breezes on hot days. They beat the pants off of Las Vegas' "hair dryer" effect.

* While technically you have a straight flush draw if the board reads 7h-8h-10h and the 9h is in your hand, you don't really have a straight flush draw. You have a straight draw that might happen to turn into a straight flush.

* California needs to get over this whole "2am closing" thing.

* Where do all the degenerate action junkies that litter Commerce get their poker-playing money? Many of them are way too bad to actually make any money at poker.

* I need to pee.

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Gimme a V!

Look, I'll be honest. Watching poker is not always the most scintillating task. Why do you think lime tossing was invented? Sometimes the job gets tedious.

Monday afternoon in Rincon it was clear that we had a dud of a tournament on our hands. There were only 106 runners and (not surprisingly) most well-known players skipped the event. That's not to say we didn't have *some* star power but it wasn't enough to grab the poker world's attention.

That's when I noticed that, in a field of 106 players, there were exactly four women and exactly four black men. In a room full of white and Asian guys, this was unusual. The fact that there were four of each led to some interesting gambling possibilities. Thus was born the "Team Vag v. Team Black Dude" last-longer prop bet.

My comrade-in-arms, FerricRamsium, was given one side of the bet. I had the other. Some people would say the good money was on Team Vag. I call those people smart racists.

Improbably, the bet was a push! Team Vag and Team Black Dude were heads-up for the Circuit championship, but they cut a deal and agreed to split the prize money right down the middle. We were disappointed to be denied a final sweat after sweating the thing down to the wire the whole tournament.

The first installment of this bet may not have produced the desired action, but I'm looking forward to future Team Vag v. Team Black Dude bets. That could be as soon as my next two tournament stops: San Remo and Monte Carlo.

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The Gag's on Me

Ahhhhh, I'm back in Vegas. More importantly, that means I'm no longer in Rincon. I managed to escape a day early. Due to a small turnout for the Circuit Event, the tournament staff were able to collapse the three-day tournament into a two-day tournament. That gave me a free night Tuesday that was spent gorging on sushi in San Diego and a free day yesterday that I used to visit friends in Los Angeles.

Obviously I can't say I'll never again be at Harrah's Rincon (with their retarded rules on alcohol sales) but it certainly won't be by choice.

Unfortunately -- or maybe fortunately, depending on how you look at it -- my travel schedule meant that I missed posting an April Fools post for the first time in five years. We were on the road in the morning, and I spent the afternoon noshing on food at a diner and then hiking in Runyon Canyon. DK and I decided to press for home in the evening, giving me absolutely no chance to sit down and craft what had become a RTFT tradition.

Just pretend it would have been brilliant.

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