Gauntlet: Thrown

Apparently, maintaining one blog and a busy social calendar while working for Old Whitey the Man Big Law Firm LLP was not enough for Crazy ol' "Dawn Summers". She and "the redhead" have started a poker blog called "I Had Outs". They claim that they're mostly going to whine about bad beats. I know, I know -- I too had to breathe slowly and deeply into a brown paper bag in order to contain and control my enthusiasm for their new venture.

I suppose I can hardly claim any sort of trademark protection for the title of their blog, as it's a frequently heard phrase in poker rooms the world over. Still, I had my suspicions where Dawn my have come up with this "ingenious" blog title. On more than one previous occassion, usually during car rides in which I was subjected to repeated lisentings of Clay Aiken that ended with me looking for the nearest sharp object to jam into my ears, I'd remarked how I think the phrase "I had outs" would be an appropriate elegy for my tombstone. Before I could press this matter with Dawn, however, I read her blog-introducing post:

Oh, and I should mention that any resemblance between this blog's title and F-train's planned tombstone inscription is entirely coincidental.

In fact, we never even heard that he was going to do that.

Actually, we've never even heard of F-Train.

Never one to be outdone, I've fashioned a time-travelling device out of a Mr. Pibb can, a necktie and some cat urine and plan to travel back in time to yesterday in order to commit suicide with a leap in front of an F-Train (ensuring that my timely demise will makes the local tabloids) and order my tombstone inscription before the inception of Dawn's new blog. If all goes well, I'll be dead yesterday and it will be all over this morning's papers.

Take that, Dawn Summers (if that is your real name)!